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The Prophetic Path to Parenting Part 1- Age 0 to 7 (The Master)
Lots of research has gone into this well-written article!
Here’s a snippet:
“As per the title, the child is “The Master” for the first 7 years and this means that formal or strict standards should not be rigorously implemented, particularly in terms of Islamic rituals. How many of us have had the Quran Hifz inculcated into us from the age of 4/5 and onwards or fasting the long hours or knowing the 4 rakaat prayers by say, age 7? When in Surah Baqara (2:256) Almighty Allah Azawajal, tells us that “There is no compulsion in religion”, why do we compel our children to follow rituals so stringently? I am by no means saying that they should not learn the Quran, attempt fasting or know how to pray Salaat. However, it should be proportionate to their age and development. We should explain and inform children, that when they think of Allah – that Allah’s name becomes synonymous with LOVE and MERCY and not FEAR and SHAME. When I was growing up,I learnt a lot when I was young due to fear and peer pressure – not the best way to teach! It was drilled into me by well meaning parents and Islamic classes. Is it time to ease up a little?”
On infertility and miscarriages
This 2-part series takes a deeper look at the oft-unspoken issue of infertility:
And this article is a comprehensive look at one woman’s story of miscarriages, packed with good advice: https://themuslimvibe.com/muslim-lifestyle-matters/the-beautiful-babies-no-one-talks-about
The Najaf to Kerbala Walk - A Simulation
Over October half-term, the Children’s Islamic Library held a Najaf to Kerbala ‘walk’ for children ages 4 to 10. It was a beautiful few hours and the buzz in the hall was noticeable as children made their way from ‘Najaf’ to different mawkebs and finally arrived at ‘Kerbala’ in a moving procession. Below are the details!
Najaf: To set the children of on their journey towards Kerbala we got the children to visualise Najaf while gazing at a large poster (A1) of the golden dome of Imam Ali. We discussed who Imam was and why we would aspire to be like him. With that in mind, the children were encouraged to think about one good deed they could do regularly in honour of their walk. They left the city of Najaf in their groups taking out Sadaqa (which they were asked to bring with them) for their onward and upward journey.
Each group was assigned a ‘group leader’ (older children who were helpers for the day!), who helped guide them from mawkeb to mawkeb. The group leaders also talked to them about the walk, asking them if they were tired, and pointing out the various posters showing the distance to Kerbala, and psyching them up for their arrival to Imam… all in all, making the children feel like they were truly on the walk.
Flag Making Mawkeb: The children made flags for Imam Hussein using black card and bamboo sticks. With flourescent markers they wrote Ya Husayn on it, and decorated it with different crafty materials. They were encouraged to raise their flags high during their walk to symbolize their love and alliance with our Imam.
Taboot Making Mawkeb: Here the children learn what a taboot was, and how it was a symbol and a representation meant to be an emotional symbol it was. The children then all had a chance to actually make the taboot themselves.
Massage Mawkeb: Here, the children learnt how people beg to give zawwaar a massage to help their weary bodies.They learnt how to give of themselves unconditionally, just like the people in Iraq, who treat their guests with immense hospitality. The children had a lot of fun learning how to give themselves and others, a massage as well as the importance of resting and supporting others, in order to help themselves and others’ progress further. They were taught about pressure points and how to give a good massage, and then were encouraged to give each other a massage. Those that didn’t want to, gave themselves a massage instead!
Marsiya Mawkeb: At this mawkeb, the children took a break from all their ‘walking’ and sat down to remember Imam Husayn (as) through marsiyas. Books were on hand and the mawkeb leader helped them choose familiar marsiyas so that they could all take part.
Date Making Mawkeb: After melting blocks of pitted dates in a microwave, each child was given a small amount of dates and cornflakes to mix with their hands and roll into balls. As they did so, we talked about how dates are mentioned 20 times in the Holy Qur’an, and the different scientific benefits of dates! The children were so quick to volunteer their own thoughts and experiences about eating dates: “They make you strong” “Dates give you energy” “I love dates!” “My dada eats dates everyday” “My mummy and papa eat dates in Ramadhan”.
All the chatting, squeezing, squashing and rolling date balls worked up a good appetite and made for a brilliant sensory experience! We remembered to give thanks to Allah for the food we have and started with ‘Bismillah’. Most of the children were really keen to eat their date balls and all was quiet as they enjoyed the fruits of their hard work. Others immediately said ‘I don’t like dates’ but were brave and had a little taste anyway mashaAllah! Some of the little zawwaar took their date balls home to share with mums and dads.
Click here to download a poster on dates!
Sherbet Making Mawkeb: The zawwar were welcomed and it was explained to them that they would be making sherbet, an energising drink made from milk and rose syrup (for those allergic to milk, oat milk was provided as an alternative). We briefly touched upon the benefits of drinking milk. While the children were mixing their drinks, they were asked to recite surahs on it, and just before drinking their sherbet they were encouraged to say Bismillah and make the intention for Allah to help and give them the energy to complete their walk towards Imam Hussain.
Rest Mawkeb: Here the children were encouraged to take a break and rest their weary legs. They were told how it is an honour for people to provide a resting place for the zawwaar. We had lots of books on Kerbala, Imam Husayn (as), etc for them to peruse as they rested.
Maatam Mawkeb: At this mawkeb, the children recited maatams and remembered Imam Husayn (as) through their azadari. Children took turns to wave a flag as they all recited. Their maatam filled the hall with the remembrance of Aba Abdillah!
First Aid Mawkeb: Here, we treated all the Zawwars with contemporary medicine as well the all important Quranic Medicine. During our research we were AMAZED to find out how many common illnesses could be cured by the different Suras from the H.Quran. There are also Asmaul Husna that can be recited, but we focused on the Suras this time. Download the sheet of illnesses/cures here.
All Zawwars were given some yummy skittles as pain killers which they accepted without hesitation, except the really good ones who said they weren’t allowed by their mummies. Please find the cheat sheet we used. Please visit www.QFatima.com for lots of inspiration and resource.
Kerbala: After all the stations were completed, we gathered the children together and got them ready to raise their flags and walk together as they entered ‘Kerbala’, while listening to a maatam. As they entered, they faced a poster of Kerbala and spent a moment reflecting how it is Allah who gave them the energy and ability to witness this beauty. To Him belongs all praise and thanks and with this in mind, they all went into sajde e shukr.
Before taking their final few steps towards Aba Abdillah, they discussed how when we love someone, we want to be like them. If we love Aba Abdillah, how can we be like him? Can I be the first to say salaam, can I forgive when someone makes a mistake, can I lend a helping hand? The children took a moment to reflect and wrote their own personal pledges (examples were given to them below) to Imam on a little slip with the magic ink of their fingers.
With our pledges in one hand and our flags in the other, we recited a ziyarah and then we completed our walk towards the shrine (the poster) with chants of labbayk ya husayn! Labayk Ya Husayn!
Finally: The children then got a chance to reflect and write down one thing they loved most about doing the Najaf to Kerbala walk!
- To download all the Mawkeb signs, click here.
- To download all the Distance to Kerbala signs, click here.
Check out the video highlights here!:
How two moms dealt with their son's secret girlfriends - Hina Khan Mukhtar
And this is some great research to back up Islam’s take on no-dating! Teens who don’t date may be more well-adjusted and less depressed, new study find: https://abcnews.go.com/Health/teens-dont-date-adjusted-depressed-study-finds/story?id=65486471
Beautiful Parenting Advice from Yemen
Some of the traditional methods of raising children in Tarim (Yemen). This is really beautiful.
Women expecting children would ensure every morsel going into their mouths was halal. Breastfeeding mothers would repeatedly recite Ayah al-Kursi, Surah al-Falaq, Surah al-Nas and du’as of protection over their babies.
When a child first began to speak it would be taught to say:
رَضِيتُ بِاللهِ رَبّاً، وبِالإِسْلامِ دِيناً، و بسيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ صلى الله عليه وسلم نَبِيَّاً ورَسُولاً
‘I am content with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion, and with our Master Muhammad ﷺ as my Prophet and Messenger.’
Parents would teach their children the importance of making good intentions and what intentions to make just as they would teach them how to recite Surat al-Fatiha.
Parents would teach their children to call upon Allah in every situation. If a child asked for something, his parents would tell him to perform wudu, pray two rak’ats and then ask Allah to fulfil his need. After he had done this, they would give him what he wanted and tell him that Allah had answered his prayers.
Each child would be allocated a specific task. For example, one child would buy things from the shops, another would clean the house and another would serve guests.
Parents would wake up young children in the last part of the night to accustom them to being awake at that time. Fathers would take their young sons to the mosque at that time.
Parents would hold family gatherings in their houses on a daily or weekly basis. They would recite a portion of the Qur’an and read from the books of fiqh and hadith. They would conclude the gathering with du’as and salawat.
Parents would gather their children together before blessed days or months, such as Ramadan, and ask them what good deeds they planned to perform. For example, they would ask them how much of the Qur’an they would recite and how much charity they would give.
When one of their sons reached maturity, the father would hold a gathering to which he would invite the scholars and elders of the community. He would inform his son that he was now legally responsible and that he now had two angels who were recording his good and bad deeds.
Parents would give more attention to the education of girls than boys because girls would spend the greater part of their time in the domestic sphere. In reality, educating and nurturing a woman is educating and nurturing an entire nation.
Parents would marry their children as soon they were ready to ensure they did not commit any acts of disobedience. May Allah bless our children immensely and grant them every goodness in this world and the next.
Credit: KQZ Institute
Menstruation is not a break from your faith
A really interesting perspective! I love the idea of framing it differently to change how we (and our children) think of it…
Pray It Forward
I love this idea that was done at our mosque. It encourages people to pray for others as they would for themselves!
